Thursday, March 6, 2008

Essay #2 concerns

The biggest concern I have with my essay is its length. I can't seem to find enough to say about my hat. Im also not to sure if I even wrote the right type of things about it. Im not sure if I described the hat enough, or if I put to much of the word I or me in the paper. I kinda feel lost.

1 comment:

cehoffecker said...

With this paper, I would say one of the biggest concerns is the lack of depth. Everything was on a primary level and nothing was really going into a indepth description. There was a lot of I's the in paper but I did the same thing to so I guess that will probably be a common problem. If you were to talk more about the status/cost/image the hat gives off, I think you'd have much more to talk about and describe. Like you said, the paper does need to be longer and there are some past tense/present tense issues. Also a stronger conclusion might make the paper end on a better note.